As you begin your adoption journey, you will have many things to consider, such as whether you want to adopt a baby or an older child. You may also wonder if you can specify the gender of the child or baby you adopt.
Gender Preference in Adoption
Adoption is a journey of bringing a child home to be part of your family. Perhaps God put adoption in your heart years ago, and now you’re beginning the process.
Specifying the gender of the baby you wish to adopt can make the process longer. In addition, some expectant mothers are not interested in families that only want a certain gender.
It’s important to keep in mind that not all expectant mothers choose to know the gender of their baby. Some feel that learning their baby’s gender would make their decision even more difficult. Or perhaps they had poor prenatal care.
So let’s say that out of all of the birth mothers working with Lifetime, about half know what gender they’re having and half don’t. Of the birth mothers who know the gender of their baby, half of them have girls, and half are having boys. So, you’d only be shown to about 25% (or less!) of Lifetime’s adoption opportunities if you’re gender-specific.
If you have a gender preference, make sure your adoption coordinator knows so they can show your family profile only to expectant mothers who know the gender of their baby.
Discuss With Your Family
As you and your spouse decide your preferences about your adopted child’s age, gender, and race, you may want to talk with your close family members or members of your church for perspective. Sometimes you don’t realize you or your partner has a strong preference until you discuss it. Be sure to talk things through. Explain your choices and why you’re making these choices.
You Have Choices
As an adoptive parent, you have the option to choose the gender of the child. Many hopeful adoptive parents have a gender preference because of their other children. This study found that families usually adopted a child of another gender when they already had several kids of the same gender. So, if you have all boys, you may want to adopt a girl. There is nothing wrong with gender choices, but know that it may slow down your adoption process, making your adoption wait longer.
A Lifetime Christian Adoption
When you begin your journey of adopting a child, you will have many decisions to make. One of your biggest decisions is whether you have a gender preference. As you pray about your decision, remember to discuss it with your spouse and your extended family. You don’t want to find out at the last minute they had strong preferences you didn’t know about.
Of course, you want to be on the same page as your spouse. You don’t need to make your decisions based on your extended family’s opinions, but their thoughts may influence you. Having a preference about the gender of the baby you adopt is okay. It isn’t a difficulty for the expectant mother as long as you are totally honest about your preferences and have shared them with your adoption professional.
Lifetime Adoption will use your preferences to show your profile to expectant mothers who are carrying a baby of the gender you’ve chosen. If you have any questions about how to decide the gender of the baby you want to adopt, contact the experienced adoption professionals here at Lifetime Adoption. You can reach us by calling (727) 493-0933. We’re here to answer all of your questions and help you as you make this important life decision.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell's life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC's The Today Show, CNN's The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN's Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.