"...whoever welcomes a child like this.... welcomes Me."
Getting Back in Touch
The defining characteristic of a Christian open adoption is the relationship that is cultivated between the birth mother and the adoptee. While preparing for adoption, the two families create a contact agreement that specifies how often the families will meet. It can also detail the location and duration of each meeting. The agreement further includes other types of contact, like phone calls, email or social media relationships.
The birth mother may be excited at first. She will be able to continue forming a bond with the child while also knowing that the child is growing in an ideal Christian home that she chose. She may see this as an opportunity to be a part of a different type of family.
After the early meetings, some birth mothers find themselves growing distant from the family. It could be that they feel left out or out of place. It may make them feel depressed to see the child they could not raise themselves. However, in most instances, the birth mother is loses touch with the family for issues unrelated to the child. Her life may have become busy or stressed to the point that it has been months, or even years, since she has been able to reach out.
Another type of separation occurs when the adoptive parents must relocate. Physical distance can cause visits to become difficult if not impossible. Without face-to-face contact, a birth mom may neglect to keep up with other types of communication.
Should this happen in an adoptive family, the adoptee may eventually want to reach out to the biological mother. The child might have questions that need to be answered. He or she may simply miss the presence of the birth mom. Whatever the case may be, the adoptive parents might feel awkward getting back in touch after a long time apart.
The simplest way to reach out is through email. If the parents have the birth mom’s email address, they can send a simple message asking how she has been and stating that they have missed her. If she is receptive to this, the parents might ask if she’d like to see photographs and eventually have a phone conversation. It may take weeks to reach a point that allows the adoptive parents to ask for a personal meeting. When rebuilding a relationship it is important to start off slowly in order to cultivate a firm foundation.