During the adoption wait, the cause of most of our stress is frustration and lack of control over the process. I’ve found the solution to frustration is practicing having “calm” faith that the process of adoption has been successful for others before me and will be for me too. In the right timing and God’s guidance, we will be parents. It’s natural for many of us to want to make things happen in our timing. This just leads to more frustration.
When we first started our own adoption, I was used to being in charge. I was the CEO of a manufacturing company, and simply made a call whenever I needed something. It was delivered to my office that afternoon. Oh, how different it was in adoption! I had a lot to learn and had to overcome my need to control. It became my daily frustration.
I found that if I put in an hour a day into my adoption process by learning and reading about adoption, I felt I had done something productive. I was moving forward. This helped me with the frustration I felt while I waited for us to be chosen by a birth mother.
The relief in this frustration is the knowledge that God will help you with your heart’s desire to become parents in His timing! When we put daily trust in God with all our heart, we can keep on working and moving forward in our adoption process with a calm feeling, and the knowledge that God has a plan just for us. Don’t be discouraged and never give up! Slow down, and enjoy the adoption journey as it comes along. I understand where you are because I’ve been there too. Even if we don’t know the exact timing of our adoption, we can rest calmly in His loving guidance and the knowledge that He sees the desires of our heart.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
-Proverbs 3:5
For nothing is impossible with God.
-Luke 1:37
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell's life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC's The Today Show, CNN's The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN's Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.
