During the adoption wait, the cause of most of our stress is frustration and lack of control over the process. I’ve found the solution to frustration is practicing having “calm” faith that the process of adoption has been successful for others before me and will be for me too. In the right timing and God’s guidance, we will be parents. It’s natural for many of us to want to make things happen in our timing. This just leads to more frustration.
When we first started our own adoption, I was used to being in charge. I was the CEO of a manufacturing company, and simply made a call whenever I needed something. It was delivered to my office that afternoon. Oh, how different it was in adoption! I had a lot to learn and had to overcome my need to control. It became my daily frustration.
I found that if I put in an hour a day into my adoption process by learning and reading about adoption, I felt I had done something productive. I was moving forward. This helped me with the frustration I felt while I waited for us to be chosen by a birth mother.
The relief in this frustration is the knowledge that God will help you with your heart’s desire to become parents in His timing! When we put daily trust in God with all our heart, we can keep on working and moving forward in our adoption process with a calm feeling, and the knowledge that God has a plan just for us. Don’t be discouraged and never give up! Slow down, and enjoy the adoption journey as it comes along. I understand where you are because I’ve been there too. Even if we don’t know the exact timing of our adoption, we can rest calmly in His loving guidance and the knowledge that He sees the desires of our heart.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
For nothing is impossible with God.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”