When I first found out I was pregnant, I felt completely overwhelmed. As a Christian, I knew God would help me get through, but I never expected to be in an unplanned pregnancy.
My parents wanted me to get an abortion right away and just pretend like nothing had happened. When I told my boyfriend I was pregnant, he broke up with me, which meant I was pretty much on my own to decide what to do.
Because of my faith, I knew abortion wasn’t something I could go through with. Besides having the baby, I wasn’t sure what to do, but I got through the pregnancy with support from my friends at church.
Growing up, I had a best friend who was adopted. Knowing her and her story made me think that I wanted to adopt someday. After my baby was born, I decided to place her for adoption with a family that couldn’t have kids. It was like God had introduced me to my friend years before to help me choose adoption for my baby.
Because the adoptive parents agreed on open adoption, I knew I’d get to see my little girl as she grew up. Still, leaving the hospital without my baby was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It made me understand the sacrifice my friend’s birth mother had made for her sake.
Now, as a birth mother, I get to witness my daughter’s life through the updates her adoptive parents send me each month. We also meet up once a year to celebrate her birthday. Even though we’re not together all the time, I’m grateful we have a good relationship.
In Luke 1: 26-56, we read that Mary, a teenager at the time, was visited by the angel Gabriel. He told her that she had been chosen to bear God’s son. The Bible says she conceived Jesus by the Holy Spirit. Naturally, Mary was pretty surprised at what Gabriel said. In Luke 1:34-35.37, it says that Mary responded with a question.
“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”
Gabriel said, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore, the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God.”
Then for emphasis, he added, “For nothing will be impossible with God.”
Mary humbly accepted her role as a new mother, even though she was young and unmarried. Because she was unwed, Mary no doubt was harshly judged as being immoral. When she told her fiancé, Joseph, she was pregnant, he could have legally had her stoned to death for adultery because that was the law at that time.
Due to an order issued by Caesar Augustus, Joseph and Mary had to be registered for the census in Bethlehem, which was their ancestral hometown. It was 80 miles to Bethlehem from Nazareth, traveling through the dangerous mountainous region known for robberies and deaths of travelers.
Scripture doesn’t mention Mary riding a donkey like the Christmas songs tell us. She likely walked the entire distance even though she was nine months pregnant. Once they were in Bethlehem, Mary gave birth in a stable which was a terrible place to have a baby, even for that period. Jesus wasn’t biologically her husband’s child, but she chose to trust God and trust Joseph through the entire ordeal.
Birth Mothers Sacrifice
Like Mary, birth mothers often find themselves in difficult situations. They may feel overwhelmed and in need of help. Their pregnancies are unplanned, and they’re often unmarried. They wonder how they’ll be able to support their child. Some choose adoption for their child, so their child can have the things they need to grow into a strong, able adult.
All mothers are valued, and they all sacrifice. But the sacrifice birth mothers make is different. Placing your child for adoption is a tough situation that only birth mothers face. Today there is still a lot of stigma over an unplanned pregnancy. Many birth mothers feel pressured to get an abortion or raise their children out of fear that others will judge them. The decision to place a child in adoption is a courageous choice.
At Lifetime Adoption, we believe that each child is created in God’s image, and for this reason, we celebrate birth mothers’ sacrificing choices. We support birth mothers and provide care for them with total respect.
If you’re in an unplanned pregnancy, we’re here for you. We’d love to talk to you. We promise to work hard to give you the practical, spiritual, and physical care you need to get through this difficult time. You can reach Lifetime by phone call or text at 1-800-923-6784.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”