You come to a point when you’ve prayed, you’ve asked forgiveness, you’ve done everything you can do. And you just decide you have to forgive yourself, stop brooding over it, and get on with life. That’s all you can do.—a school bus driver who accidentally ran over a child, killing her.
–Robert J. Morgan
Giving up your baby for adoption is one of the heart-wrenching yet courageous decisions you can make as an unwed mother. Your pregnancy may have come from a moment of passion, but you are now burdened with a lifelong commitment – one that you cannot maintain due to your circumstances.
An unwed pregnant woman goes through a lot of emotions – helplessness, unworthiness, depression, anger, self-doubt, and above all guilt. As you battle with all these emotions, you must also deal with your changing body and hormones including the life that is growing inside you with every passing day. What must you do with the baby? Do you have the inner strength to give up your baby for adoption? Is it even right to make your baby someone else’s responsibility? What if the adoptive family doesn’t treat your baby right? In addition, you may be surrounded by friends from school or college who will offer a lot of unsolicited advice. They may encourage you to keep your baby because you are its ‘real’ mother. The first thing you need to do is forgive yourself. When you repent and confess the ungodly mistakes of your past, God is quick to forgive. Have you really forgiven yourself for the circumstance you are in now?
Secondly, you must be willing to shut out all the voices screaming at you, including your own feelings and emotions. Your friends may not be the best people to help you choose as they are not emotionally invested in your situation. Instead, open your heart to God and ask Him to show you what He wants you to do with the baby. God’s Word offers health to a person’s entire flesh (Proverbs 4:22) and that includes your mind and emotions as well. As you seek His guidance and strength, allow yourself to consider where you are in your life. Are you ready to be a single mother? Do you have the necessary mental, physical, educational, and financial resources to provide the life that your baby deserves? If not, adoption is the best way to ensure that your baby grows up in a loving and secure family. Here’s a great resource that will help you reach a godly decision concerning your baby: www.lifetimeadoption.com. You can also speak to other birth mothers who can help you deal with your pregnancy.
Adoptive families are ‘real’ families too. There are many Christian couples who have adopted children into their own fold and treat them as their own. They provide the necessary love, faith, hope, and values your baby will need as he or she grows up to face the world. Consider it as a God-given choice to turn your mistake into a miracle and a blessing.