Read one woman’s story of how she came to believe in God’s love during her unplanned pregnancy.
Hailey’s Story
10 years ago, I held a beautiful newborn baby girl in my arms. My baby girl. I was so young — 15 to be exact. I was a freshman in high school, and my boyfriend had broken up with me as soon as he found out I was pregnant. The year my daughter was born was one of the hardest years of my life.
Seeing that positive pregnancy test brought out a strong feeling of a lack of worth. I knew that I’d messed up and disappointed the people I loved. I was going to be a mom at a time of my life when most girls were concerned with acne and homework. I was no longer the “good girl” I used to be.
Does God Still Love Me?
It felt like my whole world came crashing down. I felt shameful and guilty all the time and hid my pregnancy from my parents. In my heart, I knew better than this; sex before marriage is a real sin! I wondered, “Does God still love me?”
I felt ashamed, extremely guilty, and pretty uncertain. Being pregnant and unmarried had me feeling unredeemable, unlovable, and out of God’s good graces.
I didn’t feel God’s love. I felt alone. It was in one of those lonely moments that I took out my Bible to search for reassurance that God loved me. I believed He loved me unconditionally, but I still needed proof. I needed a reminder so I wouldn’t forget or doubt the reality of His love in my life.
I kept track of the verses that reminded me of how God loved me. After a few days, I had filled two college-ruled notebook pages with Scripture to remind me of God’s love. I kept those pages with me all the time, folded up in my backpack, so I could look at them when I started to feel really alone again.
I learned to believe God’s love for me is unconditional. When I chose to have premarital sex, His acceptance of me didn’t die. His love is everlasting.
What About Adoption?
I turned to my youth pastor for guidance. I shared with her that I definitely wasn’t ready to be a mom at 15, but I didn’t believe in abortion either. She gently told me about a third pregnancy choice: adoption. At first, I just dismissed the idea. “I could never give my baby away!” I told her. But she sent me home with some info on adoption and some booklets about couples who wanted to adopt a baby.
After lots of prayer and meditation, I came around to the idea of adoption. With adoption, I could save my baby’s life. Plus, I could bless a couple who couldn’t have a baby of their own. I picked a Christian adoptive couple in my state who are involved in their church. I wanted my daughter to grow up in the church, just as I had.
The adoptive couple I chose, Jeff and Lisa, arrived at the hospital in time! I was so thankful that they rushed, and Lisa was able to be there in the delivery room with me. I’m so touched by the genuine power of God and His outstanding love. My labor and delivery experience couldn’t have gone better. The hospital staff were careful and concerned with every one of us, making sure to be sensitive since my baby was going to be adopted.
I chose to have an open adoption, meaning that I got updates on her as she grew up. I’ve even been able to fly out and visit her for the past few years. Choosing adoption wasn’t easy, but it allowed me to exchange the guilt and shame I felt for love for my baby, the adoptive couple, and God.
I wanted to share my story so that you don’t feel alone if you’re in a similar situation right now. Believe in His unconditional love for you, even if you’ve turned against His way. Pray and think about what the Lord wants you to do with your baby. Ask for His grace to support you as you make your decision.
We love because He first loved us
-1 John 4:19
God loves you unconditionally and doesn’t wait for you to come to Him with your life all figured out. Here’s a quick prayer:
Dear Father,
At times, I struggle to believe You love me and You can save my story, the way it’s gone so far. I want to be exactly who You created me to be. Give me the assurance to believe in Your love for me and Your plan for my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
How to Deal With a Crisis of Faith During an Unplanned Pregnancy
If you’ve found yourself pregnant at the worst possible time, you might be facing a crisis of faith. It’s common for Christian women who are pregnant unexpectedly to wonder if this truly is a part of God’s plan for their lives. If you find yourself in this spot, rest assured that it’s okay to question where God is in all of this, because God is surely great enough to bear the burden of your uncertainty. God knows what is in your heart, and God can lead you to the answers that you seek– all in God’s perfect time.
If you find yourself in this situation, you’re not alone. Lifetime has worked with many women who struggled with their faith while they were considering adoption. It’s OK to question where God is in your life right now. Isn’t He great enough to bear the burden what you’re going through? Remember, God knows what’s in your heart, and He will lead you to the solution you’re looking for.
If you’re thinking about adoption for your baby, you might have gotten some pretty rude comments from nosy busybodies. They say things like, “If God didn’t want you to become a mother, He wouldn’t have allowed you to get pregnant.” Wow!
Know that God doesn’t wish for His children to become victims. However, the gift of free will means we’ll sometimes become the victim of our own actions. When we’re victimized, God responds to our cries for help. He can bring miracles in a big way! Just think about open adoption: you’re able to choose life while at the same time giving your baby the upbringing you wish for them. And, a couple who can’t conceive are blessed with a child.
Would you like to learn about adoption for your baby? Just call or text Lifetime Christian Adoption at 1-800-923-6784.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on September 3, 2017, and has since been updated.
As the Vice President (VP) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.