One of the biggest challenges a teen can face is navigating an unplanned pregnancy. If your girlfriend is expecting, you may feel overwhelmed with questions about your future.
How will this change your plans for college or career goals? What can you do to get ready to take on the responsibility of being a parent overnight? How will you provide for your child and girlfriend without a solid foundation?
These concerns are completely natural, but one of the most difficult questions may be: “How do I tell my parents my girlfriend is pregnant?”
Receiving news of an unexpected pregnancy can stir up a mix of emotions – ranging from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. For a young man, sharing the fact that his girlfriend is pregnant with his family can be especially challenging. We recognize these feelings and are here to offer support and guidance as you navigate this journey.
Breaking the News
Sharing this news may be daunting if your family has strong values and high hopes for your future. You may come from a family of believers, and your parents are excited about God’s plan for you. However, as hard as it is, your parents’ guidance and support can be invaluable in helping you and your girlfriend make the best decision.
Including your family members in the biggest event in your life is important. How can they support you if they don’t know what’s happening? That doesn’t mean telling them is comfortable or painless. You might be dreading your parents’ initial reaction. It’s easy to feel unprepared to break the news, but you’re showing initiative by reading this right now! Here are some tips as you prepare to tell your parents your girlfriend is pregnant.
Pause and Reflect
Before talking to them, take some time to reflect on your situation and gather your thoughts. Spend time with God in prayer. If you are yet to repent and confess your poor choices, do it now.
When you confess, it releases you to God’s forgiveness, and His love will help you forgive yourself. He is bigger than all your problems. Ask Him to give you the courage and maturity to tell your parents about your girlfriend’s pregnancy.
Before approaching your family with the news of your girlfriend’s pregnancy, it’s important to come to terms with it yourself. Understand that this life-changing event can bring up a range of emotions, which is perfectly normal. Talk to your girlfriend and openly discuss your feelings and fears. Understand the responsibilities that will lie ahead. Once you’ve processed the news, you will be better prepared to share it with your family.
Right Place, Right Time
Let’s be real – there’s never an ideal moment to have this discussion. However, there are steps you can take to ensure this topic receives the attention it deserves. Set aside a time for you and your parents to meet in a comfortable environment where you won’t feel rushed.
Choose a place that encourages an open conversation, allowing everyone to express their thoughts and feelings. It’s important to give everyone time to process the news. Avoid bringing this up when one of your parents is about to leave or during a heated argument.
Take the time you need to prepare for this crucial conversation, but don’t procrastinate. Your girlfriend’s pregnancy will continue to develop whether you’re ready to discuss it or not. Having this discussion as soon as possible is the best approach.
Seek Advice and Support
When you’re ready, choose a calm moment to sit down with them and explain what has happened. Be prepared for their emotions—they may feel disappointed, worried, or upset—but try to remain patient and allow them time to process.
Once the initial reaction has passed, ask for their advice and support. Remember that your parents ultimately want what is best for you and your future. Your parents have your best interests at heart and want to see you live the life God has planned and prepared for you.
Keep in mind that your parents’ initial response might not reflect their true feelings. When faced with unexpected news, people can be stunned or struggle to find the right words. Sometimes, people react impulsively before fully processing the situation, and even the most understanding parents can initially respond strongly.
You’ve had the chance to think about this situation longer than they have, so allow them some time to come to terms with the information. You may discover that your parents become one of your greatest sources of support during this challenging phase of your life.
How to Tell My Parents My Girlfriend Is Pregnant
To sum things up, to tell your parents your girlfriend is pregnant, have a face-to-face conversation where you are open and honest. Express your feelings and commitment to taking responsibility, while respecting their potential reactions and giving them time to process the news.
Be prepared for a range of emotions and try to remain calm and collected throughout the conversation.
Adoption is an Option
With open adoption, you can choose your baby’s parents from a nationwide selection of screened and qualified Christian adoptive families. You can also decide to stay in contact with your baby and their adoptive parents throughout the years, in whatever way feels best to you. Some birth parents keep in touch through emails and texts with the adoptive family, while others are able to meet up in person once a year.
As you can see, you’re not simply “giving a baby up” with open adoption. Instead, with the help of an adoption agency like Lifetime Adoption, you can customize the process to your baby’s best interest.
Adoption can provide a meaningful opportunity for a childless couple while allowing you to continue working toward your personal and professional goals. It can be a God-given opportunity to bless that couple and follow your dreams of college, work, and success.
If you want to learn more about adoption and how it can help you move forward, please call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784. Our Adoption Coordinators will provide non-judgmental support and guidance as you and your girlfriend decide on the best course of action for her pregnancy.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on May 15, 2016, and has since been updated.
As the Vice President (VP) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.