Dads play a vital role in the lives of their families. Whether you’re an adoptive father or a birth father, your presence can impact the lives of your children.
With Father’s Day just around the corner, you may wonder how, as a dad, you can impact your family for good in today’s world. Here are some ways you do that for your children.
Be an Influencer
Being a dad gives you opportunities for influence throughout your life. Your impact starts even before your child is in your arms.
As an adoptive dad, you know the many hours, days, weeks, or even the months you and your partner have waited to bring a sweet baby home. How you handle yourself as you wait is significant and will help your partner have faith and courage during the waiting period. God can give you the strength to be that kind of influencer you need to be in your kids’ and partners’ lives.
If you and your partner choose to place your child for adoption, you are responsible for walking with your partner through the adoption process. How you support your partner during her pregnancy sets the stage for your involvement in your child’s life.
Stay Committed to the Vision
Whether you’ve chosen to place your child for adoption or you’re a waiting adoptive father, you can stay committed to the vision for your family. When you and your partner bring home your sweet child, it will be one of the sweetest days of your life.
Of course, the challenge of raising a crying infant, a messy toddler, or a rebellious teenager may cloud the vision so that you both feel exhausted and wonder what you thought when you choose to adopt.
As a dad, you can help stay the course and stay committed to the vision of the family that God gave you both. As you inspire your partner and help practically, your family will learn how to press through the good and the hard times.
For birth fathers, staying the vision means you remain in communication with the adoptive family and your child as they grow. You stay committed to your partner and find ways to encourage them.
You both made the right decision. It’s affirming God to be a good birth father to your child, even if another family is raising them. Don’t forget that your child is watching you even if you aren’t with them 24/7. Your life choices will impact them.
Father’s Day is a time to be grateful for fathers. Of course, as a dad, you can show gratitude for your own father and for having children, whether or not they’re living with you.
God knows your heart and can help you be the kind of dad you want to be, no matter your situation. Be an example of a thankful person. When you’re around your kids, when they see their dad showing gratitude for life and the many things in his life, it will impact them to do the same.
A kind, thankful father is one that children want to be around. Your gratefulness will be contagious to them.
Humble fathers set the stage for good relationships with their kids. They admit when they’re wrong and are ready to forgive when their kids make mistakes.
These dads don’t think too highly of themselves but understand their need for God in everything they do. Being humble allows your children to feel comfortable being vulnerable around you because they know you won’t judge them. Instead, they seek your help, knowing you’ll listen to them and find some way to help them.
If you’re a birth father, you may also face adoption grief. Don’t feel guilty for choosing adoption for your child but remain humble and reliant on God.
When you and your partner choose adoption, you choose life for your child. It was a courageous decision. Open adoption allows you the chance to communicate with your child over the years as they grow. Whether you communicate through letters, emails, texts, phone calls, or even in-person visits, your humility in seeing your child will be meaningful to them.
You never know the impact of the simplest communication with your child. It could change their world knowing you care for them and want to be in their life.
Choose to Follow God
You can find help and hope in your role as a dad through your relationship with Christ. He’s the one who can give you strength when you feel weak.
In your daily Bible readings, look for His promises to you. Pray for your child and ask God to give you a strong relationship with them. Pray they’ll grow up strong in faith and be able to see God’s hand in their life through adoption.
Remember, you became a dad not by some random decision but by God’s design in your life. He chose your children and placed them in your life, so you can rest assured that you are the best adoptive father for your child.
No one else could be the dad you are. You play a vital role in your children’s lives. It’s a role that only you can do because God knows what kind of dad your child needs. So embrace your role as a dad. It’s who you were meant to be.
It’s a privilege to have strong Christian dads in today’s world. More than ever, our world needs dads who are influencers, stay committed to the vision of family, are humble, and follow Christ.
Happy Father’s Day to all fathers! May you feel God’s pleasure and blessings today.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”