Even though you know that God has the perfect child for you, it can be difficult to patiently wait when you’re eager to adopt. Perhaps you’ve watched other couples adopt, but you still haven’t been chosen by a birth mother.
If this sounds like your situation, we want to share some reasons why this could be happening and some action steps you can take to move the process along. Consider if any of these situations describe your adoption process.
Home Study
What slows down many adoptions is the lack of a completed home study. Many dread this part of the process because it’s so detailed and invasive, and so they put it off.
The adoption professionals at Lifetime understand the frustration you feel about the process, but they want to ensure you’re ready to adopt a child.
If you drag your feet filling out forms and making appointments, it will affect your adoption. You need to gather some documents and paperwork for your home study. Then, a social worker will collect your information and conduct several home visits during the process. Information you need to provide includes:
- Physical examination
- Basic criminal background check
- Fire safety inspection of your home (the social worker does this)
- Names and photos of everyone in your immediate family, as the social worker may interview them
- Reference letters from people you know
Be sure to make your home study appointments as early as possible to keep the process moving forward. Besides the above information, you’ll also need to turn in certified copies of each of these forms:
- Marriage certificate
- Birth certificates of you, your spouse, and kids in your home
- Adoption papers if you’ve adopted before
- Death certificate of a former spouse
- Divorce certificates of former spouse or current spouse
You’ll also need to turn in all of your financial information to your adoption professional, including:
- All information about your insurance policies
- Health insurance, be sure your policies will cover adopted kids
- Your employment verification
- Income verification
- Debt information
- What you spend per year on mortgage (or rent)
- Any of your monetary assets
On average, the home study process can take approximately two to four months unless there is a snag along the way.
Adoption Preferences
Your adoption preferences can also slow down your adoption process. If your preferences are too narrow, you won’t be seen by every birth mother. For example, if you’re only open to adopting a Caucasian baby girl, your adoption profile will only be presented to Caucasian birth parents who know that they’re having a girl, and many choose not to find out their baby’s gender. This greatly reduces the amount of parents who see your information, resulting in a longer adoption wait.
Being open to adopting a child who may be harder to place isn’t for everyone. But, if you want to help a child find a loving family, you might consider adjusting your adoption preferences. Adoptive families that are open to adopting kids from different racial backgrounds often adopt quicker than other families.
If you’re open to adopting an infant that has been exposed to drugs or alcohol during pregnancy, you’ll have a shorter wait than other adoptive families. Of course, there are risks associated since drugs and alcohol can cause poor fetal development. While this can result in long-term effects, the baby can also recover and have no long-lasting issues. It’s important that you understand the risks, but you can provide a child with a loving home if you’re willing.
As you consider changing your adoption preferences, make sure you’re honest with yourself and your adoption professional. You need to consider your capacity and your faith level for this type of adoption preference. Just know that this could be a factor in why some couples are being chosen by a birth mother faster than you.
How Can Adopt More Quickly?
Right away, the adoption professionals at Lifetime can spot couples who will adopt more quickly than others. These couples have resolved any issues surrounding infertility and are now focusing on their adoption. They’re not trying to shop for a new car or remodel their home at the same time. These hopeful adoptive parents are putting all of their efforts and resources into their adoption. They’re organized, resourceful, and proactive as they complete their home study, determine their adoption preferences, complete their adoption profile, and more.
Ask God to give you grace and guidance through your adoption process. The wait can feel long and involved, but it will be worth all the effort when you bring home a sweet baby to your loving family.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”
