Are you ready and excited to adopt a baby, but your spouse is on the fence? It’s frustrating when you’re not on the same page, but it isn’t uncommon. Many couples find that one spouse leads the journey toward adoption.
If you don’t agree on the decision to adopt, it doesn’t mean that you have an unhealthy relationship, or that you won’t ultimately find common ground. What can you do if one spouse feels passionate about adoption and the other spouse doesn’t?
Your spouse can’t read your mind, no matter how strong your marriage is! When it comes to adoption, you might need to help your husband see where your passion for adopting comes from. It’s not about arguing your case and trying to win. At the same time, let your spouse open up about why he’s hesitant to adopt.
Talking it out can be the right method to get both of you in sync. This conversation might be difficult and filled with emotion, but it’s best to address issues head-on instead of pretending they’re not there.
It’s important to recognize his concerns and take them seriously. For example, if you’ve been researching adoption online and attending adoption webinars, you’re probably more comfortable with the thought of adoption. Your husband’s concerns are legitimate, and he may need to cover some of the same ground you have before he gets on board.
Really take the time to listen when your partner is talking, instead of thinking about what you’ll say when they’re talking. When you commit to speaking and listening without barriers, you might come to learn that your desires to help children in need are quite similar.
Pray Together and Alone
When you have a passion for adoption, it’s important to place it before the Lord. Request His guidance on your path as well as with your desires. Pray about this together and by yourself.
This isn’t the time to convince your spouse that you’re right, but a time to seek the Lord’s guidance.
who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Connect With Adoptive Parents
Consider joining a support group for couples considering adoption. By hearing their thoughts, you can think about things from another angle. You can also further explore where the reluctance is coming from.
Seek out a couple at your church who’s already in the journey to adopt. By having a conversation with someone who was uncertain and is now a proud parent can be incredibly encouraging. Ask them questions and then listen with an open heart. Hearing from a couple who has gone before you can help you and your spouse make the right choice for your family!