Facing an unplanned pregnancy can mean facing a mountain of difficult decisions. The fear and uncertainty can be overwhelming. Even if your future looks unclear right now, there is hope. Your pregnancy may not have been part of your life plan, but you are still in control of your future.
If you are considering placing your baby for an open Christian adoption, you have taken the first step toward a bright path for you and your baby. There is a hopeful Christian couple out there who dreams of giving your baby a loving home. As you learn the encouraging truth about your adoption concerns, you may find that placing your baby for a Christian adoption is the answer you’ve been looking for.
Here are the answers to seven of the most common questions women have when considering a Christian adoption:
1. Is it expensive to place my baby for adoption?
Birth mothers do not pay any fees or expenses to begin to create an adoption plan. One of the many benefits of choosing an open Christian adoption is that birth mothers receive emotional and practical support throughout the entire process and may be able to receive financial support too. This can include compensation for medical and living expenses. You’ll also have access to counselors and adoption professionals to guide you every step of the way.
2. Is it selfish to place my baby for adoption?
The idea that choosing adoption is “taking the easy way out” is just plain wrong. Placing your baby for a Christian adoption is a selfless choice made out of love. You put your child first by providing her with the life you know she deserves.
There are consequences to any pregnancy choice. Even if you are confident that Christian adoption is the right decision, you will have a loss to grieve. That grief is part of the loving sacrifice you make for your child.
3. Will I ever get to see my baby again?
In an open adoption, you choose to maintain contact and maybe even form a special relationship with your child and the adoptive family. As you browse Christian adoptive family profiles, you’ll also decide how much and what type of contact you would like to have after your baby is born. This can range from periodic updates and pictures to sharing celebrations and in-person visits.
If you choose an open Christian adoption, you will not have to spend your life wondering about your child.
4. Will my child hate me for placing her for adoption?
Human emotions are complex. Since adoption is a matter of the heart, there is no way to predict your child’s future feelings. However, it’s unlikely that your child will hold resentment toward you.
If you choose an open Christian adoption, you can communicate with your child when she has questions. You can be open about your adoption decision and work with the adoptive parents to help your child process her feelings. Your child is more likely to understand that you chose adoption out of love and the desire to provide her with a hopeful future.
If you do not choose to have contact with your child, you can still keep a journal or write letters to your child that help her understand her history.
5. How can I be sure that my baby will be placed with a loving family?
Another benefit of an open Christian adoption is that the birth mother is in control. You select your baby’s adoptive parents and get to know them before you make any final decisions.
Adoption agencies like Lifetime Christian Adoption provide birth mothers with online profiles of hopeful Christian adoptive couples. You can look at each couple’s story, photos, and videos to select your perfect match. Each of these couples has gone through a screening process and completed a home visit, so you can rest assured that your baby will be safe and cared for.
6. What if my baby’s father isn’t involved?
The definition of father varies from state to state, but he has a right to a relationship with his child. If the birth father is not involved, he may be willing to waive that right. Your adoption attorney can take the necessary steps to obtain his consent or take legal action to prevent him from objecting to the adoption.
7. Can I change my mind?
You have a right to change your mind at any point during the adoption process. You can change your mind about the adoptive parents you selected, and choose a different couple. You can change your mind about parenting your child, even if you are already in the hospital. Birth mothers are also given a certain amount of time to change their minds after the child’s birth. This is called a revocation period, and the length of that time varies from state to state.
After the revocation period, a judge will finalize the adoption by terminating the birth parents’ rights and granting legal rights to the adoptive parents. The adoption is final at this point.
Whether or not you choose an open Christian adoption, the professionals at Lifetime Christian Adoption are here to support you through these questions and more. We can help you navigate the adoption process with informative, non-judgmental guidance every step of the way.
As the Vice President (VP) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.