Sometimes God puts a desire in your heart to step out into unknown territory. Right now, you may be feeling like this about adoption. It’s a big decision. Is God calling you to adopt? How will you know?
Learn About Adoption
Learn as much as you can about adoption. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be when you need to make decisions. Look for podcasts, books, and websites, and webinars about the process of domestic adoption.
The adoption experts at Lifetime are happy to provide you with information on what the adoption process looks like and the different types of adoptions. In addition, we can recommend websites and books that have information on adoption and the many things you’ll need to consider about adoption.
Ask Yourself Questions
Early on in the process, you want to spend some time doing a little soul searching to figure out what God is saying to you. Here are some questions that may help you get started.
- Why do you want to adopt? People adopt for all kinds of reasons. You may feel that God wants you to adopt due to infertility or because you want to add to your family. Remember, adoption isn’t the second-best choice. It’s a way to provide a loving family for a child.
- Are you ready to adopt? Are you emotionally, financially, physically prepared to adopt? Adopting a baby can get emotional as you wait for a birth mother to choose you. There are also various expenses involved in adopting. However, if God is leading you to adopt, He will provide everything you need.
- Are your family and marriage in a good place to adopt right now? If you have other kids, are they ready for a new sibling? You’ll need to prepare your children for another sibling who may require a lot of your time and attention. Is your marriage healthy enough to bring in a child? Are you both on the same page about adoption?
- What type of adoption do you want? The most critical decision you must make before starting this path is determining the type of adoption right for your family. There are choices to make about the type of adoption you want, including your relationship with your child’s birth family and the adoption professional you wish to hire.
- Are you open to adopting a child of another race? As you consider how God is leading you in adoption, search your heart to see if you’re open to transracial adoption. Adopting a child of another race is more common today than in years past, but there are still challenges for both the child and their adoptive parents. It’s important for you to be knowledgeable about these challenges, and prepared to talk openly about racial issues with your child.
Study Scripture and Pray
It’s important to understand what scripture says about adoption, faith, and God’s father’s heart. Here are several scriptures to study as you prayerfully consider whether God is leading you to adopt.
He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.
-Deuteronomy 10:18 (NIV)
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
-James 1:27 (NIV)
And without faith, it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.
-Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)
Ask God to make His will clear. Be sure you’re not feeling pressured to adopt. Guilt is never a good motivation to do anything, especially adopt!
Is God Calling You to Adopt? Seek Input
Ask others for their honest evaluation of whether you’re ready to adopt. Getting their objective thoughts can be very helpful. Be sure to ask only those people with whom you have a trusting relationship, such as your pastor, close family, or friends.
If God is giving you a desire to adopt, it could be time to step out in faith. Learn all you can about adoption, ask yourself soul-searching questions, get input from others, and of course, study scripture and pray. Most of all, trust God that He will make it clear whether He wants you to adopt.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell's life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC's The Today Show, CNN's The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN's Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.
