Sometimes God puts a desire in your heart to step out into unknown territory. Right now, you may be feeling like this about adoption. It’s a big decision. Is God calling you to adopt? How will you know?
Learn About Adoption
Learn as much as you can about adoption. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be when you need to make decisions. Look for podcasts, books, and websites, and webinars about the process of domestic adoption.
The adoption experts at Lifetime are happy to provide you with information on what the adoption process looks like and the different types of adoptions. In addition, we can recommend websites and books that have information on adoption and the many things you’ll need to consider about adoption.
Ask Yourself Questions
Early on in the process, you want to spend some time doing a little soul searching to figure out what God is saying to you. Here are some questions that may help you get started.
- Why do you want to adopt? People adopt for all kinds of reasons. You may feel that God wants you to adopt due to infertility or because you want to add to your family. Remember, adoption isn’t the second-best choice. It’s a way to provide a loving family for a child.
- Are you ready to adopt? Are you emotionally, financially, physically prepared to adopt? Adopting a baby can get emotional as you wait for a birth mother to choose you. There are also various expenses involved in adopting. However, if God is leading you to adopt, He will provide everything you need.
- Are your family and marriage in a good place to adopt right now? If you have other kids, are they ready for a new sibling? You’ll need to prepare your children for another sibling who may require a lot of your time and attention. Is your marriage healthy enough to bring in a child? Are you both on the same page about adoption?
- What type of adoption do you want? The most critical decision you must make before starting this path is determining the type of adoption right for your family. There are choices to make about the type of adoption you want, including your relationship with your child’s birth family and the adoption professional you wish to hire.
- Are you open to adopting a child of another race? As you consider how God is leading you in adoption, search your heart to see if you’re open to transracial adoption. Adopting a child of another race is more common today than in years past, but there are still challenges for both the child and their adoptive parents. It’s important for you to be knowledgeable about these challenges, and prepared to talk openly about racial issues with your child.
Study Scripture and Pray
It’s important to understand what scripture says about adoption, faith, and God’s father’s heart. Here are several scriptures to study as you prayerfully consider whether God is leading you to adopt.
He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.
-Deuteronomy 10:18 (NIV)
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
-James 1:27 (NIV)
And without faith, it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.
-Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)
Ask God to make His will clear. Be sure you’re not feeling pressured to adopt. Guilt is never a good motivation to do anything, especially adopt!
Is God Calling You to Adopt? Seek Input
Ask others for their honest evaluation of whether you’re ready to adopt. Getting their objective thoughts can be very helpful. Be sure to ask only those people with whom you have a trusting relationship, such as your pastor, close family, or friends.
If God is giving you a desire to adopt, it could be time to step out in faith. Learn all you can about adoption, ask yourself soul-searching questions, get input from others, and of course, study scripture and pray. Most of all, trust God that He will make it clear whether He wants you to adopt.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”