It’s important to have a strong adoption support system in place during pregnancy and after the adoption. Even if it’s just one person, they can make you feel less alone right now.
The people you choose to support you can help you select your baby’s adoptive parents, support you during your adoption planning, and even help you with everyday tasks like errands or childcare if you have other children.
You might wonder who you should ask for support. Think about who has your best interests in mind and who will listen to you. These people will support you, even if they don’t like every decision you make. You may want to ask for support from:
- Friend or roommate
- Boyfriend or husband
- Teacher, school counselor or mentor
- Your Adoption Coordinator
Whoever you choose, you’ll want to be able to feel comfortable being honest with them about what’s going on in your life. You should be able to tell them about the pregnancy and your decision to place your child in adoption without fear of them judging or criticizing you. Hopefully, the people you choose are Christians who will encourage you in your faith throughout the process.
Support Comes in Many Ways
There may be people who care about you, but they have a hard time supporting you emotionally. While they may not be the best people to talk about adoption with, there may be other ways they can help you during your pregnancy and post-adoption.
They could help you with rides to doctor’s appointments, childcare, or bringing meals as you recover from delivery. Don’t feel bad about not staying in touch with negative people right now. It’s important that you choose the people you are most comfortable with being your support team.
Lifetime Adoption is Here to Help
If you’re not sure who to talk to, our Lifetime Adoption coordinators can help you. Our Adoption Coordinators have lots of experience helping birth mothers. They will be there for you through the entire adoption process, making sure you are comfortable every step of the way.
If you want, your Adoption Coordinator will talk with your family and friends about adoption, providing them with any information they want to understand the process better.
Many people have questions about open adoption. This type of adoption is the most common today. In an open adoption, you’ll be able to have contact with your child and the adoptive family throughout your child’s life. Depending on the arrangements you create with them, this may be through letters, phone calls, emails, or even in-person visits.
Your Adoption Coordinator can inform your family and friends about what open adoption is and what it isn’t. Your family and friends might believe that adoption works the way it used to decades ago when women never saw their child again after placement. So when they know how open adoption works, they may be more supportive of your choice. Then, when you tell others of your adoption plan, they can be a helpful presence by your side.
Adoption Support System – Your Peers
Lifetime Adoption offers a variety of counseling available for you. There’s a peer support team specially designed to meet your needs. This network is made of birth mothers who have gone through the adoption process. They know how you might feel and understand what it’s like to make these decisions.
Talking with a peer support birth mom during your adoption process is available to you for free when working with Lifetime Adoption. These women aren’t trained social workers, but their own life experience allows them to support you throughout your pregnancy and adoption.
Lifetime understands your needs during your pregnancy and adoption. Our goal is to provide compassionate, caring help for you and give you the best resources available for your adoption experience.
Support from a Licensed Counselor
Lifetime can also connect you to a licensed third-party counselor. When you work with a professional counselor, you may realize you have deeper emotions about the adoption than you thought previously. For example, perhaps you’re struggling with guilt or grief. The licensed counselor can walk you through your feelings to find healing.
Remember, your Adoption Coordinator is here to support you and can give you guidance on how to approach a family member or friend about adoption.
Questions about adoption? Call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on July 8, 2018, and has since been updated.
As the Vice President (VP) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.