Jessica’s Adoption Story
I was already six months along when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared…terrified. I was a high school senior with just one semester left. I didn’t have a job or a car, and I hadn’t even thought about college yet. My boyfriend and I had broken up right around the time I got pregnant. So I knew that adoption would be the best option for us.
Even though my mom was there to support me every step of the way, I still felt very alone. I felt like God was punishing me, and I was scared. But I wasn’t scared for me…I was scared for my baby. I didn’t want to let him (or her) down. I was nervous that if I did adoption, the parents I chose wouldn’t be the right people. I was worried that my child would hate me when they found out about me.
Why I Chose Adoption
All I wanted was for my baby to have what I didn’t when I was growing up. My mom was a single mom of two kids by the time she was 21. She struggled so much. But I didn’t want my child to have to live through the struggling. I wanted my child to get toys on Christmas and birthdays, to have a dad that would be there at recitals and sports games. I wanted my baby to be able to have the opportunities that I didn’t. And I knew I couldn’t provide all that.
Instead of trying to raise my baby, and giving him the same childhood I had without a dad, I knew that the only way to give my baby a perfect life was to find the perfect parents.
I feel like God knew that I would choose adoption. At that moment, I could barely take care of myself, and I couldn’t bear failing my baby. I love my baby, and every day I tried to think about what life might be like. But it was like God made my mind draw a blank. It was like a reminder that adoption was His plan for me.
Choosing My Baby’s Parents
I knew Ryan and Britt were the ones the moment I talked with them. My Adoption Coordinator joined in on the call to help me as I struggled to ask them questions about who they were and how they would plan to raise my baby.
But before I even spoke to them, I knew deep down that they were the ones God had sent me. When I picked them, I knew just the basics about Britt, but I did know she would be a wonderful mother. I knew Ryan and Britt were God’s gift to me. I knew that adoption was God’s plan for me.
After meeting Ryan and Britt, I felt at peace. I was so happy for them and so glad that I found my baby parents that could do what I couldn’t.
My Experience With Teen Pregnancy
There were plenty of other pregnant girls at my high school but none of them was making the decision that I was. At first, people were shocked, but once I explained my story, they slowly started to understand where I was coming from.
Every day, girls would come up to me and ask me how I could give my baby away and do what I was doing. I just told them, “It’s not for me, it’s for my son.” Because once I became pregnant, life was no longer all about me. It was about the baby inside of me. I got lots of praise about how strong I was from my teachers and my family. But I didn’t feel like I needed praise, because what I was doing was for my baby. As a mother, you do anything for your child. You don’t see strangers on the street praise a mother when she does something for her child.
My experience with choosing adoption has made me a stronger person. It’s made me look at life from a different perspective. God gave me the chance to improve a couple’s life. I answered their prayers when I made Ryan and Britt parents.