Many unmarried Christian women who are pregnant may feel guilty in their situation. Well, guilt is a God-given feeling, which brings our mistakes and faults to the forefront of our minds. It is a bitter reminder of our sins and bad choices, exposing our straying away from God’s intended path for our future.
However, shame is not from God. While guilt can convict us to repent and confess our sins to receive God’s forgiveness, shame drives us away from Him into more darkness. Shame can fool you into thinking that you are too far away from God’s loving embrace. I can assure you that God loves you very much. No matter what’s going on in this chapter of your life, He knows the larger story He has for you, including a bright and beautiful future.
Kourtney’s life was going as planned—she was 21, raised in a Christian home, and pursuing her dreams of becoming a singer and songwriter. But when she found out she was pregnant, it felt like her life was crashing down all around her. Her dad, shocked and reeling, told her that she was a disgrace, and she decided to get an abortion. On the way to the clinic, however, Kourtney had a powerful encounter with God that changed her life forever—and eventually, changed the course of her dad and her entire family’s life, as well. Hear Kourtney’s story and be reminded that God can take any difficult situation and turn it into something beautiful.
If you have unconfessed sin in your life, I encourage you to repent from the decisions of our past and press on towards the good future God has for you. God’s grace has the power to cover all your sins when you embrace what Christ did for you on the Cross of Calvary. You may be embarrassed and scorned by those around you. Your self-esteem may have taken a heavy beating. But, no sin is too big for God’s forgiving heart.
Melody was a pastor’s daughter who had a rebellious streak. She’d gotten caught smoking behind the church, ditching school to hang out at the park, and running around with older boys. She knew the loving arms of Jesus, but the strict rules at home seemed too tight for her free spirit.
When she realized at 17 that she was pregnant, it felt like her world came crashing down. All the broken rules of the past felt like kid stuff – this was real. The guilt and shame seemed to eat at her every day and, while she kept the news from her parents, they knew something was wrong. Melody felt as though in her heart she knew better than this, and that this was real sin on so many levels.
When she finally told her parents she was five months along and absolutely clueless how to make this right with them and with God. Rather than berate Melody, her parents embraced her with the love of God, encouraging her to first repent her sin, and then ask for His guidance in her decisions. Together they discussed options, and finally settled on a semi-open adoption with a Christian couple who were unable to conceive a baby.
It wasn’t easy for Melody, but the guilt and shame were replaced with love and concern for her baby, the couple, and God. She embraced this as part of God’s plan for her life, although it was the result of her own sinful choices.
Is Adoption the Right Answer for Me?
Your unplanned pregnancy may be used as a part of God’s plan to bring joy and happiness to another couple. Your mistake can be the very miracle that God has prepared for a childless couple. There are millions of women who cry themselves to sleep every night, not knowing what to do about an unplanned pregnancy. Prayerfully consider what God wants you to do with this child and ask for His grace to help you carry through your decision.
Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, all you need to do is seek the forgiveness of God so that you can move on to enjoy the abundant life that God wants you to have. Just remember that Jesus loves you and He has a great plan for your life!
If you’re ready to start learning about adoption, call or text Lifetime Christian Adoption at 1-800-923-6784.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on June 10, 2016 and has since been updated.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”